Buen dia, mi gente, and welcome to La Vida Más Chévere de Childfree Latinas, the only Spanglish podcast for childfree Latinas y Latines, helping us liberate ourselves from the toxic cultural brainwashing we all grew up with so that we can design our best lives. Instead, I'm your host and resident childfree Latina Paulette Erato. Hey, mis amigues. I am back from Chicago and oh my God, what a trip that was. From being told I don't look Latina enough to realizing our vision on stage on the final day of the conference, it was a lot. But wait, why was I in Chicago? If you missed the last episode about Latinas In Podcasting, I was at a conference moderating a panel at the annual Podcast Movement Evolutions, or what we call PME. It's a smaller offshoot of their larger annual conference. This one's a little bit more industry than podcaster focused, but they're trying to bring them in. It's also the one I usually go to because it's either in LA or Vegas. The big one this year is going to be in Texas in the summer, and guess where you will never find me in the summer. It's too damn sweaty in Texas. Plus it's Texas. Next year it'll be in San Diego. San Diego, I know how to navigate. We got married there. It's also less sweaty and less expensive. Because wowwee was inexpensive. By the way, they no longer feed you at events like this in the post-Covid era apparently. So you're on your own from breakfast to dinner. Now as a speaker, there's usually a lounge for you to sit and reset in, but hmm. This year the room was stocked with tea, coffee, and sometimes pretzels. Yep. That's it. Also, it wasn't a room. It was just a cordoned off area like in the basement. One of my co-panelists, Michelle had a lot to say about that. I'm actually gonna link to a couple pieces of her content because there's a lot to say about this and I'm not gonna cover it here. She already did. So go read that when you're done, especially if you like your tea piping hot. Anyway, before you click away from this episode, because it sounds like I'm just foaming at the mouth to rant and it doesn't make a lot of sense for what we usually talk about, I promise we are going to examine some real toxic cultural bullshit today. I've got three and a half stories for you all about it. But first, let's talk about the really good stuff in Chicago. Like the food. You must already know, Chicago is an amazing food town. I only got to hit two restaurants outside of the hotel, but both came recommended by locals. One was, and hopefully I pronounce this correctly, Qing Xiang Yuan, a dumplings place in Chinatown, delicious lamb dumplings. And the other was the Chicago Firehouse. My panel and I had dinner together there the night before our session, and I am still dreaming about that steak. Oh my god. The second great thing was that Latinas In Podcasting co-hosted a networking event with our sister group Women of Color Podcasters, which is owned and operated by my panelist and podcast bestie Sasha Willis, and she's one of my favorite community leaders. She's active in LIP, and we of course, collaborate and support one another's groups. Over the course of that networking evening, we had about 30 women of color come through and just hang out, exchange info, make new podcasting friends. In case it isn't glaringly obvious, I'm a huge proponent of making these connections. Because like Angela Briana said in the last episode, podcasting can get lonely. Having women around you in the arena, so to speak helps you remember why you do this. I even got to meet a Latina podcaster local to Chicago. Adriana had also attended the virtual summit last year, and she raved to me about the VIP bonuses, which was really, really nice to hear. I'm gonna link the shows of everyone I talk about in the show notes because discoverability in podcasting is a bitch, so please go check out their shows. Adriana's is called Adriana Talks Dinero, and she's the one who recommended the dumplings place. Also would recommend. And then of course there was our panel. That experience was a bit of a mixed bag, but I'll talk about that in a little bit. Because on the one hand, it's empowering to be on stage as an expert, obviously. But the positioning of our session, eh, that left a lot to be desired, but also was completely not a surprise because this show has a reputation. Overall, it was a net positive experience. I got to speak. I got to meet brilliant folks. I learned a ton. Not everything was perfect, but it made me realize and appreciate and validate why this work is so important and that this community matters so much. So let's talk about the less good. The same problems I talked about last episode that were present in 2022, were still prevalent this year. For a conference that plainly states that it embraces a diversity of opinions and implies that it's behind DEI initiatives, in a town that's incredibly racially diverse (one third of the population's black, one third is Latino), the attendees were still overwhelmingly male and pale. That phrase was coined by Sasha based on her observations at a podcasting conference last year in DC and unfortunately, the observation still holds up. So here are the three and a half situations that stick out plus one commemorative video that kind of proves the point. I had a lot of meetings set up heading into the week and. It's because I'd registered not merely as a podcaster, like in years past this time, I was there as the founder of Latinas In Podcasting, which is probably why all these companies were reaching out to me instead of the other way around. And what Latinas In Podcasting is all about is very plain on our website, which you could click to from my profile. Or just Google it and find out what our ethos are. And yet let's get into those stories. There were two meetings that really stand out in my mind, and this really illustrates the contrast between the people who get it and the people who don't. The first meeting was with a company from Latin America. The gentleman who showed up were dressed casually, but still clearly there to do business. And our conversation flowed about how each of our organizations could grow from a potential collaboration.¡Increible! And from that point forward, anybody else I met who was based in Latin America, I told them to go check them out too. Because I love doing that! Connection plus collaboration, that's the very basis of Latinas In Podcasting. And now we have a meeting later this week to hammer out the details of that collaboration. I'm incredibly excited to partner and grow with them. The second meeting, different story, different company, US based. The gentleman who greeted me were dressed far more casually, and hey, I was too. I was in jeans and a red sweater, but looking respectable. I even performed the requisite femininity every day at this conference by putting on a full face of makeup and the gold hoops, obviously. The two dudes who showed up to this meeting were dressed like they were headed to their kids' soccer game on a Saturday afternoon. Different vibe, but okay. Except they were only interested in selling me on their product They had no interest in learning about Latinas In Podcasting, and were quick to wrap up when I posed a question of collaboration. And they reached out to me yet had no attention span whatsoever to even learn about me or my organization. So that isn't gonna go anywhere obviously. And this dismissive attitude is unfortunately not an exception. It's more like the rule. It's a given. It's been normalized. And look, I'm not saying that just because they weren't falling over themselves to sponsor our event that they suck. It's not that. It's the attitude with which the entire conversation played out. That I need them and not the other way around. The kicker is I kind of expected the conversation to go that way and almost declined the invitation to even begin with. So I'm not sure if it became a self-fulfilling prophecy or just is what it is. But then there was the walkway collision. The worst experience I had is the one I'm sure a lot of you listening will have an experience with too. It's that common, it's that normalized. It's that toxic. Imagine you're a woman, walking. Let's say you're wearing a dark red sweater. Let's say you're a fat woman. You're wide, you take up space. Sure you're short, but horizontal space is still space. And visually that carries more weight, so to speak. So tell me why, when I was trying to pass a group of guys walking on my right, as a group of men were walking towards me on my left, did I get run to by the guys who should have seen me? They saw the group of guys. They didn't run into them but me?[smack] Roadkill. They didn't even apologize for trampling over me. Why? Because they never saw me. I was invisible. And that unfortunately is the reality of the situation. Even as a community leader, even as a speaker, even as a voice of authority, I'm still invisible in my own industry to my own peers. Because men dismiss women. Punto. End a story. This isn't exclusive to this conference, it's an illustration of a larger problem. But this happened at a conference that has an explicit code of conduct, the first line of which is be considerate in speech and actions, and actively seek to acknowledge and respect the boundaries of fellow attendees. The boundaries, like their bodies! Don't run into them. Be considerate of speech and actions. They actually have to state the obvious. And yet it still happens, because this is plainly normalized by our society. And that sucks. Especially because it rarely happens to me when I'm walking with another man. But alone, or even with just one other woman, [smack] roadkill. Did I say anything? Did I mention this to the organizers? No, of course not, because what are they gonna do? Make another code of conduct bullet points that tells male attendees to open their fucking eyes? It's a systemic problem, not merely a conference problem. Don't get me wrong, I did yell out what the fuck?! But did they hear me? Didn't seem like it. Two of them just kept walking on their merry way, completely oblivious that they just made me a speed bump on their way to learning about video podcasting ads or whatever. And then there was the speaking portion, which should have been the highlight of the event. Speaking on stage is something I can't even tell you about because it happened in the blink of an eye. Now we had our friend and another speaker at the conference, Yesenia, from the Focus and Bloom Studio video recorded for us, but I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Full disclosure, I was only operating on two hours of sleep that day. My body freaks out when I travel, so I woke up at 2:00 AM with hives and then never fell back to sleep. I also had to audition for a speaker program that morning, so I was riding high on adrenaline. And I got accepted, so you're gonna see me on a TEDx stage here soon. Yay, more speaking in the future. What was disappointing was to see the wrap up video that was posted on the conference socials after everything was said and done and the lack of diversity they showcased. Not that it wasn't there, obviously we were there, it just wasn't captured and shown. And there's at least two panels I know that were made up of nothing but people of color. One of them, four women of color, three of them Latinas. And neither of those panels made the final cut. Why do you think that is? Because that reel is intended for a certain audience, and I'll let you guess who that is. Here's a hint. It's not us! And it's a known thing that certain demographics at this event for the last four years running that I've attended do not receive the same kind of treatment as others. For example, at the 2022 event, I went to a session where they were talking about bilingual podcasting, and the room was nearly empty because in the room next door, Andrew Huberman was giving a session on YouTube. That was just before the mask fell, and he was revealed to be a manosphere red pill-er, so he was incredibly popular. Of course, any session up against that kind of celebrity was doomed to have very few attendees. But the following year in Vegas, some talks were set out in the expo hall, which was really busy with activity. It was kind of like having a dinner party in front of a jet engine. And a couple of the talks were given by Latines and they were held there making it impossible to hear the speakers. They weren't given an actual room at the event, which is kind of disrespectful all on its own. This year we had another speaker friend, Angela Hollowell, who hosts Honey and Hustle. She gave an intimate speech in a round table format about the necessity for podcasting newsletters, but that was held in an open space in the lobby with soaring 30 foot ceilings. And unless you were sitting right at her feet, you could not hear a word she said,'cause they didn't give her a microphone. At a podcasting conference, mics are kind of important. So of course her content wasn't recorded either. And then our panel was on the last day, which is a half day. And Michelle has a really thoughtful post about this, which again will be in the show notes, about how the last day of the event being a half day encourages people to leave early. And so anybody who is stuck speaking on the last day kind of gets shafted. So what did they do with the one panel that was completely made up of women of color? They put 'em on the last day. At least we weren't the very last session. I wouldn't have made my flight in time if that were the case, but it still sucked. The people who did come to this session were motivated. They asked lots of questions and probably all of them were indie podcasters too. That's the people that we were there to talk to. But how many people did we miss because they had to leave because, you know, flights are expensive. Maybe they had to leave that morning. What I'm trying to show here is that each of these instances individually can make a person feel a certain kind of way, but when you zoom out and see the pattern of behavior, it gets much harder to ignore. And that's not even touching on the fact that this same conference once invited Ben Shapiro speak, and that created a highly divisive environment. But again, they hide behind their code of conduct by stating that attendees have to have a quote, willingness to coexist peacefully with opposing views. End quote. It's like their second amendment. Literally the second bullet point after the respecting boundaries one. That move, bringing Ben Shapiro on, made it so a lot of otherwise really awesome folks won't even attend the event. Now some of us don't have the luxury of boycotting it that way because we know the importance of creating that space and that representation and that's something we have to fight through. But those awesome folks are also invited to and have spoken for Latinas In Podcasting. And it won't cost you an arm and a leg to access their content. Okay. Final story. It's more like a half story because this is all secondhand information that was told to me and Michelle wrote about this experience. So again, I'll link to that blog. There was an incident with a person and not a bad thing. No one was harassed or harmed, just more or less left flabbergasted. Yes, flabbers were gasted, and I'm only telling you this story to illustrate yet another popular toxic norm that you've probably internalized too. So, let's get rid of it. There was an individual that Michelle and our other panelists, Mónika spoke with, who is an otherwise lovely person. But he's in a line of work that he has or he had no background in when he got into it. He didn't go to school for this, nothing. So when they asked him why or how he felt qualified to even apply for the job, his response was that he had a friend who did it. So he figured if that guy can do it, I could do it too. And he assumed he'd figure it out eventually. Obviously the company agreed because they gave him the job. So their reaction to this story was all about the audacity, because women are not taught to do that. Instead, we're conditioned to believe that we have to prove ourselves first. We have to be perfect, and then we can attempt to take bold steps. But you know, most of us get caught on that step trying to be perfect and then never move forward. So while the rest of us are out here doubting ourselves, second guessing ourselves, some dude with zero qualifications is just out there winging it and getting jobs that we're all too scared to apply to because we think we're underqualified. Not only is he not underqualified, he's completely unqualified. So maybe just maybe, we should all stop doing that. Stop second guessing ourselves. Stop talking ourselves out of taking opportunities because we think we're under qualified. No, somebody who has even fewer qualifications than you has no qualms about going after it. So maybe you shouldn't either. Yes? Yes. Let's talk about what all of this costs. I made a post on threads after the event, cataloging all of the costs. And again, I'm a former conference manager. I am intimately aware of why things cost what they do, and how to navigate that. So I'm probably better informed than the average conference attendee about why things are the way they are. And yet it is still expensive as fuck. Let's break it down. My flight's to and from Chicago, $750. The hotel, plus any food I ate on site so I didn't have to pay things separately, $990. Transportation to and from the airport in Chicago, $200. That alone was $2,000! And as a speaker, I didn't have to buy a ticket to the event itself, which would run somewhere between 200 and$350, depending on when you bought it. Even when the event is local, to me, it's still a lot of money. Without having to factor in the ticket costs, I'd still have to pay $50 a day to park and at least that much on food. Then the toll road on the 110 freeway can be about $15 each way, but I'm not sitting in that traffic, so I'm paying that. So that's another $130 per day. That's just to get in the door. Now, what? Is the educational content even gonna be any good? Because I can tell you that my entire panel was handpicked from the speakers at the Latinas In Podcasting Virtual Summit. You know, the free event I held in October? Hmm. Maybe you don't have to pay$2,000 to get this information. Why does this matter? Because $2,000 was a lot of money to spend to be treated like roadkill. And that's why we need to talk about this, why you need to hear about this. You know, where that doesn't happen? In spaces where women are centered. In spaces where people can show up without worrying about impressing everyone or getting validation. But it's more about being real and maybe even vulnerable. I'm not sorry I went to Chicago. I am sorry I didn't yell louder at the dudes that ran over me. But the truth is they're as faceless to me as I was invisible to them. I wouldn't be able to pick them out of a lineup. That doesn't mean I'll forget how they made me feel. Women of color and Latinas especialmente, we need spaces where we're centered, not sidelined. The emotional toll of being gracious enough to step out of the way, of always having to take the high road that actually stresses us out worse. Plus always having to be the empathetic one, leads to real empathy fatigue, and that's when we start turning on one another, which I mentioned in the Blame Game episode. There's also a palpable difference when we build together with people who understand the struggle, as opposed to people who are just trying to make a buck Look, I'm trying to get paid too, I have to keep a roof over my head too. And there are many ways to approach that and lower the barriers to access resources and educational information. Only one of them is hosting a virtual summit, and that's what I do. And that's what I invite my sponsors and partners to make happen, together. It's wild how much we all get out of it when we put collaboration and community over competition. The mission of Latinas In Podcasting and something that has to be very clearly important to the brands we work with, is that connection and collaboration are where the true magic happens. So here's what I'd love for you to do now. If you are considering launching your own podcast or if you already have one and you wanna hang out in a space that centers and uplifts Latina stories as well as the voices of other underrepresented groups, and if you're all about community over competition, join us. Or if you know someone who would fit this description, invite them to this community. We're always open. And it's free. Because you belong in every room. And not only should you be there, you should be seen and heard. And I need you there. We're stronger in numbers. A group of hyenas isn't gonna run over a pride of lionesses. So speak up, stand up, take up more space. And if you're having a hard time doing any of that, Latinas In Podcasting can help. We can't change everything overnight. That's not gonna happen. We can keep creating spaces that were meant for us, by us, that center us, lift us up and make us visible. That's the power of community that understands how—and wants to show you how—to harness the power of your voice. The link to join está en los show notes. And I promise it won't cost $2,000 to access it either, unless that's the level you wanna sponsor us at. And if Latinas In Podcasting isn't right for you, I hope that you find a community that is. Because whether you're out at a conference or just out on the street, you do not deserve to be run over by a person who just didn't see you. Get loud, pack in the numbers. Get out there and take up space. Don't let yourself get run over by idiots and until next time, that's a burrito. Hey, mira, if this episode made you feel some kind of way, dígame. DM me on Instagram or send me a text, you can do that right from your phone. If you wanna be a guest on the show and put your story out there too, check out the guest form on my website at pauletterato.com slash guest. Yep. Just my name, pauletterato.com/guest. Y no se te olvide que hay más perks when you join the newsletter. Todos estos links están en los show notes. Muchísimas gracias for your support y hasta la próxima vez, cuídate bien.