Paulette: 0:01

Buen día mi gente, and welcome to La Vida Más Chévere de Childfree Latinas, the only Spanglish podcast for childfree Latinas y Latines trying to dismantle the toxic cultural brainwashing we all grew up with so that we can live our best lives instead. I'm your resident childfree Latina and host, Paulette Erato. Today, the toxic cultural brainwashing we're trying to unlearn is that you can't change your mind. You actually can. How are we going to unlearn this? Well today, as a guest, I have my husband, Ryan, and he and I are going to tell you the story of Puerto Rico. I talked a lot about moving to Puerto Rico last year, about this life of adventure that we were really looking forward to starting in the Caribbean. We were so very excited to do this. We had all kinds of plans for all the trips we were going to take because we're going to be so much closer to all the other islands in the Caribbean, to South America, to Africa. And after three months, all of that came crashing down. So we came back to California. But one of the core values of the show and of my life is that most decisions are not life sentences. You are allowed to change your mind. Because as it turns out, very few decisions that you make in this life are permanent. Or can't be reversed in some way. Of course, having children is one of them because once you have the one, that's it. No going back. We don't do that here. So we're off that hook. In fact, even tattoos aren't permanent anymore with the advent of laser surgery. But if you've picked up a copy of my short little ebook called Benchmarks are Bullshit, you've read the chapter about changing your mind. And if you haven't gotten your copy, don't worry. I'll leave you a link in the show notes. Or better yet, use the link to go sign up for Substack and I'll send you that chapter later this week. So one of the collective ways that we're brainwashed, and then given anxiety or analysis paralysis or the fear of making a decision, any decision, is believing we'll either make a bad one or that once it's made, we can't take it back. It's final. It can't be undone. Like you can't quit? No, sometimes quitting is great! Like when someone quits a terrible habit, like smoking, we celebrate that. You know how much I like to celebrate wins. I tell you about it all the time, but also sometimes people are so terrified to take a risk or are generally afraid of making a bad decision that they just don't. They let their fear prevent them from even dreaming of an opportunity to take a different path. Well, if you're a childfree Latine, you're already taking what my guest Luis Octavio from a few episodes back calls the path less traveled. And just because you have a chosen path or you've chosen a path, doesn't mean that in five years or 10 years or hell, even three months, that it's all still going to remain true and right for you. The unsaid part of that is to have a safety net, a backup plan. What is your plan B or plan C or plan L M N O P? Our backup plan was to set aside some money just in case it didn't work out. That was the insurance plan. And yeah, we did have to execute it. You're going to hear the whys of that. Part of it was financial. And yeah, that's the easiest answer to give, but that's not the whole thing. The main reason was my health. And this is kind of an embarrassing story to tell you. I mean, frankly, I don't really want to share hard medical stuff with you. But it's all part of the story. It's how it actually happened. I'm grateful that I had Ryan for support through all of this. I'm grateful to the friends and family who, when we filled them in on what felt like a massive failure, they were there to share stories of mistakes they'd made in their own lives. Like, not having flood insurance before their house flooded, or losing a quarter of a million dollars on a business venture. Real life changing, harrowing shit. And still came out the other side of, and lived to tell the tale. This isn't nearly as dramatic, I mean, it did feel like that at the time. But then I realized it's also 100 percent on brand for La Vida Mas Chévere de childfree Latinas. Because I'm always telling you that failure isn't the end. It's just a data point and now we have more information. It's a lesson. So here we are. We train to failure in the gym so that when we encounter failure in real life, we know how to get through it and soldier on. So anyway, we crowdsourced some questions from Instagram followers and are going to answer them here in due course. If you have any questions still after, feel free to reach out. My contact information is always in the show notes. And I'll also leave you a link to the tax tables we referenced, so you too can do some payroll calculations and see if you could afford to live and work in Puerto Rico. I think the one thing I want to make clear is that we weren't there to be colonizers. We were there because it's part of my heritage. And so I hope you take this tale as what it's meant to be. Kind of an example of how sometimes life doesn't work out the way we want it to. And that's okay, too. So, yeah, let's get into it. Here's my husband, Ryan.

Ryan: 5:20

Buen dia, mi gente.

Paulette: 5:23

That's so nicely done in that rich baritone you have.

Ryan: 5:26

Buen dia, mi gente.

Paulette: 5:27

Everyone, please welcome to the show the silent partner behind all of it, my husband, Ryan Erato.

Ryan: 5:35

Hola, I'm not so silent today.

Paulette: 5:37

Not so silent. He is a very quiet man, but it's just because that's like his stealth mode. So the reason I invited Ryan on the show is because the audience voted that they wanted to hear what happened in Puerto Rico, why we came back to California, and Ryan lived it with me, so I thought it would be more enriching for the audience to hear from both of us, rather than me just telling the story, which I'm frankly tired of talking about. How about you?

Ryan: 6:01

Yeah, I mean, we lived it, so we don't need to keep telling it, but we'll tell it one more time.

Paulette: 6:05

One more time, and then we're done, right?

Ryan: 6:07

Yeah.

Paulette: 6:08

So let's give a little background on us, babe. How long have we been together now?

Ryan: 6:13

A long time. It's been, what, 11, 12 years total?

Paulette: 6:16

So we met 11 years ago at a bar, and very early in our relationship, we talked about how I didn't want children. And I wasn't going to have children, and since you're a little younger than me, scandalous. I was like, I don't know if you want to be in this relationship.

Ryan: 6:34

But spoiler alert, I totally did. And I still do.

Paulette: 6:37

So we were perfectly suited for each other, which we realized even more so once we traveled together for the first time. And travel became a really big deal in our relationship. We're like, we want to see the world. We want to explore. And then after lockdown, when we couldn't travel, it became, huh, maybe we want to live somewhere else.

Ryan: 6:58

Yeah. And we've always kind of talked about kind of that being an open possibility. But once we started with lockdown and watching a lot more House Hunters International. It made it seem like it was way too easy, so we did do it because we thought it was way too easy.

Paulette: 7:15

So the big question we've been asked is why did you choose Puerto Rico? So do you want to tell that story, babe?

Ryan: 7:20

Sure. I mean, I think a big part of it, number one is I am married to this awesome Puerto Rican. If you wanted to kind of connect with your Puerto Rican roots a little bit, improve your Spanish, I needed to learn my own Spanish, un poco. And also it was a place that we could do that and it's like foreign enough but it's not actually foreign since we don't need visas or anything like that. It just made it a little bit more accessible.

Paulette: 7:47

Yeah, I think when we started the conversation, we're like, those people just bought a condo in Mexico for less than $200,000. You can't find that in LA. Could we do that? And then we're like, could we do that? And then the reality of the situation hit and it's like, well, you can't continue to work for your company and live in Mexico without going through all kinds of crazy paperwork. So what else could we do? And we landed on Puerto Rico cause it's still the U. S., but Puerto Rico does feel like a foreign place because Spanish is the primary language. It's not like living in Los Angeles. From our visits there, we knew that and we're like, okay, maybe we can try something different. And yes, my father is from there and I did want to explore the roots. And part of this podcast is embracing what it is makes us Latines. You're not, you're not a Latino, so we were, you were along for the ride, so I appreciate that you supported that. So what went wrong? Or really, why did we move when we moved?

Ryan: 8:47

We just thought it was a good time, actually. Our place was under construction, we had a lot saved up and everything, so like, we were in a good position to do that, and it just seemed right.

Paulette: 8:57

We had talked about it, and then we started planning for it over the course of two years. Like, this is not just something that, even as a childfree couple, we could just up and do tomorrow. Yes, we could go and travel there to chill on short notice, but we couldn't just pick up our lives and go without some planning. So to demystify the process, it was a two year process. Ryan had to clear it with his company that they were okay with him relocating there. We had to make sure we had the funds. We had to logistically move everything out of where we were living. And that was probably mistake number one, right?

Ryan: 9:34

First of all, you don't really realize how much stuff you have until you do move. And, yeah, we're just all packing everything up and just, we gave away so much or we donated so much, it still felt like we had so much stuff left over, even.

Paulette: 9:48

And then it turns out what we kept versus what we donated or gave away didn't make a lot of sense. Like, we don't have any plates.

Ryan: 9:57

I mean, it made sense at the time, like, we got rid of jackets, like, big coats or big blankets or something, because you don't really need those in Puerto Rico. But yeah, we probably didn't need to get rid of maybe some of the more everyday things.

Paulette: 10:10

Or maybe we should have kept a jacket.

Ryan: 10:12

Yeah.

Paulette: 10:13

So what did you think of Puerto Rico?

Ryan: 10:15

For starters, it was just a beautiful place. Like, it's so green and lush and you got the, the, the ocean, which is just so blue, just all around every place that we've been. I mean, plenty of beaches here in Los Angeles. It does not look the same at all. I mean, the beaches might be nice, but the water is not the same whatsoever.

Paulette: 10:34

No, it's freezing here in Los Angeles. The beaches are cold.

Ryan: 10:37

And then it's a lot more colorful, too. I mean, houses are so many different colors. It doesn't seem like there's as many HOA rules about where you can paint your house, and I think that makes it like it's a really beautiful place, for sure.

Paulette: 10:48

So, our our three months there, we spent three months there, was divided into six weeks on the west side of the island and six weeks in San Juan. That wasn't what we planned. We didn't plan to stay in one place that long. But when we lived in Aguadilla, which is on the west side, it is a lot less populated, it's pretty much living in the country, right? Like, we didn't even have a street light in our, in our city.

Ryan: 11:13

There was one stoplight, maybe, and it took 10 to 15 minutes to drive anywhere.

Paulette: 11:19

Yeah.

Ryan: 11:19

You had to drive everywhere.

Paulette: 11:20

You had to drive everywhere. And we didn't take the car. We didn't sell the car in time before we left either, which turned out to be one of our saving graces. But, the six weeks in Aguadilla, we got to explore so many of the west side beaches, which are known for their surfing, because those waves were huge.

Ryan: 11:41

Oh my, I would not go swimming in those waters.

Paulette: 11:43

Oh no, no, no, it was like Very brave

Ryan: 11:44

souls for the people that are out there.

Paulette: 11:46

It was strongly discouraged for just the casual swimmer to be out there. Like that is not where you teach your children to swim.

Ryan: 11:54

No, and we will never have to teach our children to swim.

Paulette: 11:58

Bringing it back to being a childfree couple. So after six weeks, we found a place in San Juan metro area, which is ultimately where we wanted to be, it's just we couldn't find anything the first time that we went looking. So we spent about 12 weeks on the island.

Ryan: 12:13

Yeah overall.

Paulette: 12:15

We spent six weeks in Aguadilla, six weeks in San Juan. And of those 12 weeks, I think I spent 10 weeks sick with something, right?

Ryan: 12:23

That was rough, especially with all the moving going on and then you're not feeling so well.

Paulette: 12:29

I think we moved, there was the move to Aguadilla, then there was the move to San Juan, then there was the move home from San Juan, and then the move from temporary housing in Los Angeles to where we finally are back in our home. So four moves in four months. And for a large, some micro moves. Well and Aguadilla to San Juan is a hundred miles almost, right?

Ryan: 12:54

Yeah. Something like that. It takes about an hour and a half to two hours, I think.

Paulette: 12:58

Yeah. So I was sick the majority of the time and we realized I wasn't getting better and I couldn't find a doctor. Like it was, it was so hard to find a doctor, not just for insurance purposes, which was its own ball of wax. Finally getting insurance and then trying to look up someone in network and their phone numbers aren't always correct or their offices aren't accepting new patients or they don't speak English. I had a guest named Talia Molé who talked about always being in translation and I understand that now so much better. Because I am a native Spanish speaker, but I don't speak it enough to really be fluent, even though I thought I was. So I think in English now, as an adult, and having to speak Spanish while translating in my head is exhausting. So mad props to people who come to the US, they have English as a second language, always translating in their heads in their native language, and then trying to get that out in English. I have so much respect for people who have to do that. And I think for you, it was, it had to be harder for you because I already had a base in Spanish, but you were kind of thrown into the deep end there.

Ryan: 14:04

Yeah. And you could at least get around. It was exhausting, but I couldn't even order a hot dog in Spanish.

Paulette: 14:10

You can now. Your Spanish has definitely improved. And one of our objectives going there was for us to both better speak Spanish. Your Spanish has improved tremendously. I know that you're not necessarily comfortable speaking it, but even your reading comprehension and your understanding as people speak to you in Spanish has improved greatly.

Ryan: 14:33

Totally. I mean, reading all the menus in Spanish has helped, that's for sure.

Paulette: 14:37

So another question we were asked was, could you speak English there? The answer is, yeah, everybody spoke English for the most part. Except the one lady that you like to buy your sorullos from.

Ryan: 14:47

That's true. I, I feel like any of the, the, the service places we needed to get when we needed to go get internet or new phones, they never spoke any English. But when we were going out to restaurants or anything, as soon as I tried to speak any Spanish, then people would speak English to me. So it was kind of an interesting mix of who would and would not speak English with you, or if they could or not, then. But we always were able to get around no matter what.

Paulette: 15:10

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my Spanish would kick in when it had to. Like when we had to open a bank account. So business transactions in Spanish were always a little bit more taxing. You don't want to screw those things up because you're signing contracts like our, our leases and things like that. So, yeah, I was always very exhausted after a day of, of transacting in Spanish, not just living in Spanish. But someone else asked what were the big culture shocks and I think needing your physical social security card to open utilities accounts, a bank account, that was shocking to me.

Ryan: 15:44

Yeah, I think for me, it was the whole beach thing. It wasn't so much shocking. It was just, I hadn't experienced something like that where everyone has their favorite beach that they go to, but some of them are just not super accessible. I think that's maybe why some people like them. Like they make that extra trip to go see that extra bit of beauty, to those beaches. But there's always like one central bar spot to go get some food and some drink or, or maybe some kiosks nearby or kioskos I believe they're called, so it's cool. Like every beach is kind of just like that.

Paulette: 16:14

The beaches were beautiful, just absolutely beautiful. So much beauty on that island that you really have to earn the privilege to explore. Some of them are harder to get to, like the beaches in particular. Some of them were more difficult to get to. And by the time you reached the sand, you had to pass through off roading or whatever, and you had to work for it. It's not just show up and park. No, you have to know where you're going. You have to be able to tackle the terrain, in and out. In and out. But what you're rewarded with at the end of that trip is this gorgeous, majestic, natural beauty. Whether that was a beach, whether that's El Yunque, which we had the privilege of going through when we were there for a family reunion in 2019, right?

Ryan: 17:04

Yeah, that was awesome to go see too.

Paulette: 17:06

So ultimately, what brought us back home?

Ryan: 17:08

Well, the number one kicker is that Puerto Rico is very expensive to live if you're not just there to take advantage of whatever, I guess tax breaks or tax incentives there are, that we just, you know, we didn't qualify for. We're just normal, everyday people wanting to go live in Puerto Rico and enjoy all the beauty that the island has to offer, but it's very expensive.

Paulette: 17:30

Yeah, I don't think people quite are able to grasp what that means until you live it. But for example, and part of this is being on an island and having to have stuff shipped in, but a gallon of almond milk, for example, name brand almond milk here in Los Angeles is about five or six dollars a gallon. Now, that's expensive. A half gallon of almond milk at any store in Puerto Rico that we went to, Econo, Pueblo, the co ops, they only sold half gallons of the same almond milk brand for the same price as it costs for an entire gallon here. So we're paying five, six, seven dollars for half a gallon of almond milk on the island. So

Ryan: 18:14

Everything was more expensive. Beers were more expensive.

Paulette: 18:16

Yeah, beers were routinely twelve to fifteen dollars for a six pack.

Ryan: 18:20

Even the stuff that they make on the island would still be quite expensive too. Very delicious, but expensive.

Paulette: 18:25

The big brand on the island, Ocean Lab, that was $15 for a six pack. Now people in Los Angeles are like, well, Monkish is $20 for a four pack. Yeah, Monkish drives those prices up on purpose. Like we're talking about a regular six pack of beer you can buy at the store.$15 is a lot for a six pack. But then there were the taxes that we were...

Ryan: 18:46

Taxes are very expensive and complicated.

Paulette: 18:48

Complicated.

Ryan: 18:49

You need a tax lawyer.

Paulette: 18:50

We did so much research. We talked with so many relocation specialists, and when we finally realized what the impact of our taxes was going to be, it was shockingly expensive.

Ryan: 19:01

Yeah, just it was too much, and that was unfortunately something that we didn't fully see ourselves but, as you pointed out, like, as everyone that we talked to, they all point out the tax breaks. But they don't talk about, well, what is your tax situation going to be like at the end of the day? And so that was just kind of one thing that we overlooked ourselves and that everyone else overlooked to mention as well.

Paulette: 19:21

Yeah, we've shared that story a few times about how oppressively the tax tables are structured. Any income over $45,000 is taxed at 25%. Anything over $65,000 is taxed at 33%. To contrast that, California, which has the highest income tax rates, are capped at 14 percent. And that's only if you make over 1.3 million dollars, which we don't. We're just

Ryan: 19:51

Not yet, not yet.

Paulette: 19:53

And we would still pay half in taxes as we would in Puerto Rico on that amount of money, which was a huge shock. It was a bad surprise.

Ryan: 20:04

Very bad. Yeah, that was a bit rough to wake up to.

Paulette: 20:08

So on top of being sick and not being able to see a doctor, I think now this is how my body processes stress. It just I lost 10 pounds in less than two months, and that wasn't healthy, like not in a healthy way. Yes, I'd love to get rid of all the COVID weight, but not wasting away like I have a tapeworm or something. I don't have a tapeworm. I never had a tapeworm, but there was something wrong that I could never get in to see someone about. So finally, all of that coalesced and we're like, we have to leave.

Ryan: 20:42

We definitely did have to leave. It just became too much. I mean, as much as we wanted to stay, we just had to take a good look at our finances and get a look at what the long term would be for our life living there. And it just wasn't going to be our Vida Más Chévere. We would not be living that at all.

Paulette: 20:56

We could have done a couple of things differently. Friends of ours were looking to move to South America, and they went away for a month. They had someone crash at their house for a month while they were in this foreign country to see if the lifestyle jived with them. That's what we should have done. We should have gone for a month.

Ryan: 21:13

That would have been a good, a good first step. We still wouldn't have experienced the tax shock like we did. You know, we had to get used to the weather. We had to get used to the sidewalks and driving around and just learning where places are and like, how do we live the life that we live, but over there? And so just taking some time, a month or two, to be able to do that without maybe worrying about also having to find a place to live and also all this other stuff might have taken some of the stress and pressure off of things.

Paulette: 21:46

And maybe I wouldn't have been sick.

Ryan: 21:49

Maybe you wouldn't have been sick.

Paulette: 21:51

That would have been nice. So three months on the island, we've come back home. It's now been four months since we originally moved. What are your fondest memories of being in Puerto Rico?

Ryan: 22:03

The food. The food is delicious. I don't think we really had a bad meal anywhere. People always say, like, the people are great, and it is, like, people are so friendly. When I would try to speak Spanish, if we had one waiter that was kind of going back and forth, like, it was great, we had kind of a good time doing all of that, so. Yeah, I just think the beauty of the place and the people.

Paulette: 22:24

Would you go back?

Ryan: 22:25

I would, because there was a lot of stuff. I mean, I'm a big coffee drinker, so I want to go to these coffee haciendas one day and, and really just want to support the places that I get my coffee from and actually go there and support it. But yeah, just enjoy that beauty that we kind of got to drive through, but not really stop and smell the coffee roses.

Paulette: 22:45

I don't think I've ever experienced as green a place as Puerto Rico. I mean, I've been to Costa Rica, which is also a tropical area of the world, and it's also very green, but I didn't live there. I did live in Puerto Rico, and I think in the big picture, three months living somewhere doesn't amount to much. But I think that we were both deeply affected, both positively and negatively, by our experience in Puerto Rico. I think It is now part of our identity, part of our experience, part of who we are. I feel, even though it was a super negative experience health wise, I'm glad we did it. I'm glad I got to explore the land my father is from.

Ryan: 23:29

Oh, are you tearing up a little bit, baby?

Paulette: 23:31

A little bit. Sorry, I'm a little teary eyed.

Ryan: 23:33

That's okay. I mean,

Paulette: 23:35

It was hard.

Ryan: 23:35

Like you said, that's where you wanted to connect with your father. Yeah, maybe part of what's rough right now is like we didn't get to experience as much. We weren't there for a lot, very long. So I don't know how you feel about it. Maybe you didn't feel you connected as much as you wanted to.

Paulette: 23:49

Yeah, the experience was definitely cut short for us. That, that was sad. But like I said, I'm glad we did it. I'm glad that we got to experience it. If we were going to do it again, we would definitely do it differently. And I think part of the reason we were able to do it, how we did it, and come back and afford all of that is because again, we spent so long planning it, but also we don't have kids. So we could get up and move in the middle of the school year. We didn't have to worry about, what are they called? School districts.

Ryan: 24:19

What are those things?

Paulette: 24:20

What are those things? We didn't have to worry about school districts. We didn't have to worry about yanking a kid out of school and then yanking him out again and then yanking him back. We didn't have those additional pressures. A friend, I saw a friend of my older brother's who we went to college with and she was like, I asked your brother, why Puerto Rico? Why did she leave? And your brother said, because she can. And I mean, at the end of the day, yeah, that's, that's why we did it. We signed on for a life of adventure, and that was part of the adventure. It didn't work out the way we wanted it to, but.

Ryan: 24:54

We tried it, and we learned from it. We can't say we failed, but we learned from it. And because of seeing it through that light, like that's what helps us stay strong as well.

Paulette: 25:03

As a couple?

Ryan: 25:05

As a couple and physically.

Paulette: 25:10

So it's nice to be home. Home with all of our stuff. Home where the people we love are. Home where all of our friends and support system exists. You know, it was a little lonely and isolating. We did have friends. Right. We enjoyed the people that we got to know. We found this great wine bar in the Aguadilla area when we were first settling down there. Once the lady found out we were from California, she just wanted to tell us all about her time in Napa.

Ryan: 25:37

We are very good at finding the good beer and wine spots, no matter where we are. We can be in the most rural part of Puerto Rico, or we can be in the busiest city, the biggest metropolitan area we will find good beer and good wine. And like the most cute little intimate places.

Paulette: 25:53

That's true. We will find cute little intimate places like the one at Aguadilla is Rosado Wines. We're not sponsored, but if you're in Puerto Rico, go see Michelle at Rosado Wines. So now what? What are we going to do now?

Ryan: 26:06

Well you're going to record more podcasts. I'm going to continue to learn Spanish.

Paulette: 26:11

Oh, good.

Ryan: 26:12

Maybe the next time I'm on here, it'll be when it's fully in Spanish.

Paulette: 26:15

You heard it here, folks, he's throwing down the challenge, not me.¿Vamos a hablar en español?

Ryan: 26:21

Si.

Paulette: 26:22

What else can you say in Spanish?

Ryan: 26:24

Muchas palabras.

Paulette: 26:25

Like?

Ryan: 26:26

Libros.

Paulette: 26:27

Libros are full of palabras.

Ryan: 26:31

Biblioteca. Café. Taco, burrito, asada.

Paulette: 26:38

Speaking of which...

Ryan: 26:39

That's a burrito.

Paulette: 26:41

Do you got something to say about this week's episode? DM me on Instagram at pauletteerato. And if you'd like to be a guest on La Vida Más Chévere, check out the guest form on my website at pauletteerato. com. All of these links are in the show notes. While you're at it, can I ask you a favor? I'd really appreciate your helping spread awareness about the podcast, so could you please share it on your socials or even send it to a friend? New episodes come out every other Tuesday. You can enjoy them with tacos or burritos. Muchísimas gracias for your support, y hasta la próxima vez, cuídate bien.