La Vida Más Chévere de Childfree Latinas

Living Your Best Life: 6 Tips for Achieving La Vida Más Chévere - Ep 50

November 28, 2023 Paulette Erato Episode 50
Living Your Best Life: 6 Tips for Achieving La Vida Más Chévere - Ep 50
La Vida Más Chévere de Childfree Latinas
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La Vida Más Chévere de Childfree Latinas
Living Your Best Life: 6 Tips for Achieving La Vida Más Chévere - Ep 50
Nov 28, 2023 Episode 50
Paulette Erato

Wanna share your thoughts? Send a text!

It's celebration time! Having achieved 50 episodes, it's a great time to use this milestone moment to look back on where we've been, how we got here, and where we're going to continue this journey of living our best lives—la vida más chévere!

With that are 6 recurrent themes that guide the essence of host Paulette Erato's life work, which is to help us all dismantle and rebel against the toxic cultural norms we all grew up with so that we can all live our best lives.

What does living your best life mean? Former guests give their interpretations, including everything from moving to your parent's homeland to rebelling against society's "shoulds," and even falling in love.

If you're wondering how you can design your best life, here are some real-life examples from people doing the damn thing!

Don't forget to pre-order Rena's book The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love
(aff link):

To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to This is episode 50.

Thanks to guests, mentors, and fans: Talia Molé, Rena Martine, Dra. Mildred Ortiz, Jamie Feinberg, and Fede Vargas all for contributing to this episode; Michelle Jackson and Ami Thakker Raval for their sage advice; and a special shout out to podcast fans Rosalba, Ryan, Deanna, Tori, and Jen! 

Support the Show.

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at

How to reach me:

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Wanna share your thoughts? Send a text!

It's celebration time! Having achieved 50 episodes, it's a great time to use this milestone moment to look back on where we've been, how we got here, and where we're going to continue this journey of living our best lives—la vida más chévere!

With that are 6 recurrent themes that guide the essence of host Paulette Erato's life work, which is to help us all dismantle and rebel against the toxic cultural norms we all grew up with so that we can all live our best lives.

What does living your best life mean? Former guests give their interpretations, including everything from moving to your parent's homeland to rebelling against society's "shoulds," and even falling in love.

If you're wondering how you can design your best life, here are some real-life examples from people doing the damn thing!

Don't forget to pre-order Rena's book The Sex You Want: A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure, and a Life You Love
(aff link):

To get the full show notes, and an episode transcript, go to This is episode 50.

Thanks to guests, mentors, and fans: Talia Molé, Rena Martine, Dra. Mildred Ortiz, Jamie Feinberg, and Fede Vargas all for contributing to this episode; Michelle Jackson and Ami Thakker Raval for their sage advice; and a special shout out to podcast fans Rosalba, Ryan, Deanna, Tori, and Jen! 

Support the Show.

Like what you hear? Reach out to send your thoughts, and don't forget to grab a limited edition LVMC baseball t-shirt. Check it out at

How to reach me:

[00:00] Paulette: Buen dia, mi gente, and welcome to La Vida Más Chévere, the podcast where child free Latinas y Latines are learning to dismantle the toxic cultural bullshit we all grew up with so that we can live our own vidas más chévere, our best lives, instead. I'm your host and resident child free Latina, Paulette Erato.

[00:22] Today I'm coming to you from a temporary studio setup, which is not set up for filming, so that's why you won't see me on video. That'll change soon though, so please, I'll ask you to be a little patient. And before we get into the episode, I want to give a shout out to the podcast fans that participated in the LVMC episode trivia last week.

[00:43] If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll leave you a link in the extended show notes to the posts. So thanks to my mom Rosalba, my husband Ryan, and internet friends and fans. Diana, Tori, and Jen for playing along. I'll be doing more posts like that in the future because that was a lot of fun for me and I hope it was for you too.

[01:02] So follow me on Instagram and or TikTok to play along. And maybe if I remember, I'll also make it the question of the week over on Spotify. If you don't see one there, let me know. Links to contact me are always in the show notes.

[01:18] Today's episode is about spitting in the face of toxic cultural norms by celebrating our accomplishments, our wins, our progress, because this episode, my dear friends, Is number 50, the big five-oh, the golden number. If I was married to the podcast, this would be our golden anniversary.

[01:40] So we're having a party today to look back on where we've been and get excited about where we're going. In this episode, I'm going to cover some of the recurrent themes of the first 49 episodes with help from some special guests you might recognize, and then talk about what's next.

[01:58] So I'm going to mention a lot of older episodes dating back to when this podcast was called something different, which I'll also talk about. The whole list of episodes will be in the extended show notes. But this 50th episode isn't just about my own accomplishments. I want you, as you listen to this episode, to also think about all the accomplishments you should be celebrating, all the things that you're proud of.

[02:22] Use this as the catalyst to throw your own victory party. Alright, let's get started.

[02:28] I like celebrating wins. I think this will be like the third or fourth episode I dedicate to the topic. That's how strongly I feel about needing to recognize all of our individual accomplishments, even when they're tiny.

[02:41] Because look, the world will try to tear you down just about every day throughout your lifetime. Building yourself up through tiny wins and especially big ones, but those come less often, is protection or insurance against these attacks. The phrase "celebrate your wins" has kind of become a mantra on this show and in my life. Because wins are a way of reviewing how far you've come especially when it feels like you're stuck or in a rebuilding phase.

[03:12] But if you did this thing once, you can probably do it again and again and again. And that is how you build competence to get to confidence and then challenge the boundaries of your comfort zone to continue to grow. Let's talk about that comfort zone and why we need to push out of it.

[03:32] I'm currently recording this from Puerto Rico, where, like I said, I'm about to move into my new studio. To say that living here is outside of my comfort zone is a... laughable understatement. The culture, especially compared to Los Angeles, is wildly different. From whether or not there are street signs, to how hurricane shutters work, it's been an adjustment. So why did I come here? The podcast was actually one of the catalysts for the move.

[04:04] Exploring the topic of our best lives led me to realize I want to improve my Spanish and to explore my roots. Luckily, my husband was down for the ride. But I couldn't do those things from the comfort of my hometown, because that's not where my parents are from, it's where I'm from. So I'm out here exploring this new-to-me world and trying to gain a glimpse of the lives that my parents lived.

[04:31] Yes, both of my parents. Does that mean Mexico's next? A lo mejor si, no? Gotta be able to speak the Spanish a little more fluently first. But I do know that the process of creating, hosting, and producing now 50 entire episodes, no matter how long each one was, no matter how quote unquote good each one was, is a huge accomplishment for me.

[04:54] It's a milestone and I invite you to celebrate it with me. Some people, and society at large, will try to dismiss your wins or make you feel like your accomplishments are nothing special. You might be listening to this and thinking to yourself, what's the big deal about 50 episodes? Some people have 100 or even 500 podcast episodes.

[05:16] And that's probably because you too have internalized society's messages about hiding your pride. That, mi gente, is another example of a toxic cultural norm. And what do we say to those on this show? Fuuuuck that. No, honey, toot your own horn. It's not gloating if you've got the receipts. It's basking in your own glory.

[05:39] Maybe you've been raised to be humble. That doesn't mean diminishing your own light. No, what it means is using it to help other people shine too. So throughout this episode, I'm going to uplift myself and a few other community members. Because I want you to use that as proof that it's okay to do it too.

[05:59] And then give yourself permission to brag about yourself. Especially if you're a woman or a people pleaser or both. You've probably been taught that you're supposed to make sacrifices because that's where your worth or your value as a human being sits. And I'm here to tell you, that's a lie. In episode 36, with Pam Covarrubias titled, The Dangers of Calladita Se Ve Mas Bonita, we speak directly to this point about sacrifice and hiding your light.

[06:30] Pam talks about toxic traits and how staying quiet is how the patriarchy, the real villain here, manipulates this idea of sacrifice and humility to keep us in our place. We all know that well behaved women don't make history, and while I might not make history either, I refuse to buy into this concept that deems my worth by outdated standards. No thanks.

[06:54] During the episode, I asked Pam where she draws her confidence from. Here's part of what she says in answer to that.

[07:03] Pam: I think it's been fully exploring who I am and really standing in my voice and my power to really embrace the uniqueness of who is Pam. Because I looked for models all the time.

[07:17] That's why Cafe con Pam existed and when I didn't find them, I'm like, well, I guess I'm my own damn model. And I mean, I wouldn't want a model that's not confident. So I just have to like, make sure I trust myself and I honor who I am and I pull from my lived experience and my wisdom to just live.

[07:38] Paulette: Pam had to create her own role model in herself and did that by pulling from her life experiences. Which means she trusted herself and celebrated the wisdom she gained from those lived experiences to create the most confident version of herself.

[07:56] Competence from life experience forms confidence. Celebrating the life experience, the progress, moves us all from competence to confidence, and then beyond.

[08:10] The themes on this show closely mirror the lessons from my little ebook that you've heard me talk about before, and I'm going to give it little plugs throughout this episode too, probably. It's called Benchmarks are Bullshit, and you can get it through the link in the show notes. The next theme is that it's okay to fail.

[08:26] And that's actually the very first lesson in the book. We have this toxic cultural mentality that failure isn't an option. And we take that to the extreme in areas of our lives where that makes absolutely no sense. Then we end up calling ourselves perfectionists and wondering why we're stressed and anxious.

[08:46] The truth of the matter is that most of the time failure isn't the end. It's actually just a data point. So let's release this idea about failure as the end and reframe it not as an end point, but as a data point. Because part of living your best life is accepting that failure will happen and you will be changed by it, and that's good.

[09:09] Sometimes we start down a path that we think is the right one, and then it turns out, oops, we have to backtrack a little. But that time on the path wasn't wasted, that was time spent exploring an option, probably picking up some of that life experience. Just like I'm doing in Puerto Rico right now. Let me tell you a little story, fill you in a little behind the scenes action at La Vida Más Chévere headquarters.

[09:34] This move to PR was a few years in the making, we've been talking about it for some time. And you know, a lot of people said to me, to my face, they're like, Oh, you're really doing that. Yeah, I am. Anyway, initially we thought we wanted to move to the capital of San Juan, which is a large metropolitan area and also a tourist attraction.

[09:52] Not unlike LA, I guess. After coming once to look for a place to live and not finding anything, we decided to do something really out there for us, like, super out of character. We opted to make a temporary move out to the very quiet and much more docile west side of the island to see if maybe living in the countryside was more our speed.

[10:13] Turns out it's not. It's, it's very isolated out here compared to the city life that we're used to. On the plus side, you can see a ton of stars at night because there's very little light pollution. But there also isn't much you can do without a car, which we didn't bring with us, so we're relying on rentals.

[10:31] And driving at night out here is super fucking scary, harrowing on the dark, windy roads. I texted a friend the other day that once told me she lives in a town without a single stoplight, which at the time seemed really, really foreign to me. And this time I was like, Hey, I'm living like that too. We learned very quickly that this is not the lifestyle we want.

[10:52] You could say we made a mistake in coming to the west side. But would we have known that if we didn't amble down this unknown path beforehand? Probably not. So lesson learned. It's not failure, it's data. Really valuable data. You might ask, was it a waste of money? Well, we were going to have to spend the money to live somewhere, temporarily anyway, so that's kind of a wash.

[11:18] And as far as this life experiment in Puerto Rico goes, I'm not even sure we're going to stay here forever. I mean, we probably won't. Puerto Rico is a means to a different end, but I wouldn't know unless I tried it. And I'm not saying pack up your life and move to solve all of your problems. Doing that is expensive, it takes a lot of coordination, and it's exhausting.

[11:41] But if you have the means and the stars align, it might be worth trying it out. Or, let's think of this in a much smaller or more tangible way for you. What's a scary or seemingly impossible act you could undertake in your life right now? What's something you've always wanted to do but were afraid of failing at it?

[12:02] What would quote unquote failure even look like? How would you reassess it now knowing what you know about failure being data? And this can be a lot of things from taking up salsa dancing or asking for a raise. If your first attempt didn't work out, how would you approach it instead?

[12:20] I just told you a story, my behind the scenes little snippet about moving to Puerto Rico.

[12:25] My guest, Talia Molé from episode 23, is the one who taught me that storytelling is medicine, which is the next theme. That's actually the title of her episode, Storytelling is Medicine. Stories are how we connect as humans, and connection is a very powerful need. It's how we build support systems, which I'm going to talk about next.

[12:47] Let's get back to storytelling. Oral histories are how we pass down our traditions, both the good ones and the bad ones that we're here to dismantle. Before there was written language, before we learned to read and write, we spoke our stories into existence. We breathed life into myths and legends and relayed our origins, our beginnings, through stories.

[13:10] I mentioned at the top of this episode that I had help from special guests you might recognize in crafting this 50th episode. I reached out to previous guests and asked them, how are you living your best life today? And hey, interpret that question any way you want. Here's how Talia responded to what her Vida Maschivare, her best life, looks like, right now.

[13:30] For me, living una vida más chévere looks like listening to my body and waking up at the first sign of sunlight, not an alarm clock. Gosh, come to think of it, I haven't used one of those in ages. Living una vida más chévere looks like having long breakfasts with my mother, catching up with loved ones.

[13:49] And sitting with a ritual or two before getting to my writing desk and starting my work day. Which happens to be my play day, because mi vida became much more chévere when I realized that for me, work and play are one and the same. Having the courage to push back on narratives that dictate what I'm supposed to be, has liberated me and granted me an invitation to sit with the infinite possibilities inherent in acquiescing to the fullest expressions of my own becoming.

[14:19] And of course, la vida siempre es más chévere when I can share the fruits of my experiences with my beloved communities, a gift for which I am forever grateful.

[14:31] By the way, translations for all of these will be included in the Substack posts. Make sure to subscribe to receive them. The link is in the show notes. Stories connect us across time and space. But just like the dose makes the poison or the medicine, sometimes the stories can warp and turn into lies.

[14:49] This is how bad traditions are passed on. We perpetuate hurts and carry generational trauma. All of us do. Way, way back at the beginning of this podcast archive is episode six about this very thing. It's called Lies We Tell About Ourselves. Sometimes these stories are born out of comfort because it's much easier to stand still than break through those comfort zones.

[15:14] Sometimes we've told the stories for so long they become an automatic habit on repeat, even after we've changed beyond the realms of that story. One example I gave in that episode is how I will always say that I hate fish. It's so easy for me to say it's become an automatic response. Except it's not true.

[15:37] I hate certain kinds of fish. I don't ever want to see a whole fish on my plate. That's just not appealing to me. Nothing with a head, please. But I love going to town on sushi or poke bowls or ceviche or bacalaitos. Oh my God, yes. And yet, I still have to work really hard against that part of my brain that has become habituated to say, I hate fish.

[16:00] A few more years of practice, I think I'll finally be able to let go of that story, which is no longer true. And it no longer serves me.

[16:07] The next theme is how to handle the low points. Life ebbs and flows and there will be low points or slumps or times when you feel like you've hit rock bottom. I talk about this tangentially in one of my favorite episodes called Creativity is Marathon.

[16:24] That one was number seven, right after Lies We Tell About Ourselves. In it, I tell you another story about running some half marathons way back in my twenties. In case you didn't know, a full marathon is 26.2 miles. That's 42 kilometers. So a half marathon is 13.1 miles or 21 kilometers. Yes, I have to use kilometers now that I live in PR.

[16:44] And yes, 13.1 miles is a hell of a long way to run. It takes a certain resilience and grit to get through, and lots of training. It's kind of a metaphor for life in that way. But back to the marathon episode. In it, I talk about some tools that help you when you're feeling low or even approaching burnout.

[17:03] It's a good listen for that alone. I also talk about how there were low points on the journey. And how, for me, those low points in running the half marathons were very obvious around miles four and nine. I figured out that it was at those mile markers that I would need a pick me up, so I'd park my family and friends to help me rally.

[17:22] They'd bring me food, a fresh water bottle, and it would really reinvigorate me to keep going all the way to the big end, the finish line. While 50 episodes isn't the end of the road, it has felt like a marathon. And just like I felt after finishing my two half marathons so many, many, many years ago, I am super proud of what I've done here, and I am hyped to continue doing it again and again and again.

[17:47] And just like Miles 4 and 9, I have also had dark moments on this journey. If I go back and listen to the first few episodes from way early, early 2022... I get a little cringy. The sound of those episodes isn't great because I didn't know what I was doing, and I was using a really shitty mic. I had to learn as I was doing it and then improve from there.

[18:10] Then, after 35 entire episodes, I realized I was doing it all wrong! And I had to completely change everything about this show, all the things that go into making a podcast: the title, the artwork, the focus, the URL, socials, got a new look, now I had a new brand to promote. And yet, my podcast is so much more successful now than it was then.

[18:34] And I'm so much more confident now in what I'm doing than I was then. It's funny how that happens, huh? Some people might think, oh no, I failed at my first attempt at podcasting. But again, what is failure if not valuable information? What I actually did was lay the groundwork by becoming competent and then gained confidence from doing it over and over and over again to now do this.

[18:58] And show you again as proof that this, living your best life, La Vida Más Chévere, can look a lot of different ways. When I felt like I needed help, I turned to my peers and mentors. People who had been podcasting much longer than I have. People who also had tiny niche topics who could help shepherd me through what I felt was a gigantic mistake.

[19:19] People who could talk me down from the anxiety and give me tangible examples of how this was gonna be okay. In fact, the very name for the show, La Vida Más Chévere, came to me suddenly while I was on a Zoom call with a few other podcasters and our mentor, Michelle Jackson, from the award winning show, Michelle is Money Hungry.

[19:39] Michelle had just given me kind of a stern talking to, a little bit of an ass kicking about waffling over the brand changes, and suddenly it all came together. Then there was Ami Thakker Raval of Tuckered Out with Ami Thakker, a podcast doing the same thing as this one, but for the South Asian communities. She told me to stop worrying so much, since she changed her brand three times in three years.

[20:01] Different people will have different ways of looking at their lives and celebrating what is best for them, or even recognizing what their best life looks like. And there might be low points and times when it feels like you're doing everything wrong. In those moments, turn to your community, your support system, the people you trade your stories with, and ask for help. Because even the most solitary sport like running still benefits from having a cheering squad on the sidelines.

[20:30] Think about who is in your community, or even communities. We all belong to more than one circle and each one might look a little different. Who asks you for help? Who do you help uplift? And who can do the same for you?

[20:44] To follow up on marathons and community, I can already sense that some of you maybe are thinking something along the lines of, "I can't ask for help.

[20:52] I can't show weakness. I'd be ashamed to do that." Imagine if I, too, had been ashamed to ask for help creating this podcast or moving to Puerto Rico. We can call it research when I ask other people for information about a thing, but that's also just another way of saying I asked for help. Yayayay. That, my friend, is another story that no longer has a place in your life.

[21:16] Let's reframe that story of shame with the help of my friend and former guest, Rena Martine. Remember Rena from the Becoming Shameless episode? It's number 40. Part of what Rena and I talk about is how shame was once a useful tool for keeping hunter gatherers alive, but in this modern society, we no longer need that.

[21:36] Instead, it's been weaponized into a core cultural norm that keeps people stuck. Stuck in anything from dangerous relationships to stuck in ruts where they are otherwise unhappy even though they think they shouldn't be. It's another tactic the patriarchy uses to keep us all quiet. Remember earlier when I was talking about Pam's episode and calladita culture?

[21:58] Everyone has to assess for themselves whether risking a bit of shame for speaking up is worth being happy. Rena mostly talks about shame around sex. In fact, her book, The Sex You Want, A Shameless Journey to Deep Intimacy, Honest Pleasure and a Life You Love, is now available for pre sale. I'm gonna leave a link in the show notes since pre orders are really important to authors.

[22:21] But it's not just sex that has an aura of shame around it. And reducing the shame in your life is a really big step towards living the best version of it. The Vida Más Chévere version of it. Here's how Rena responded to what her vida más chévere looks like now. Notice if you can catch the toxic cultural norm she rebelled against.

[22:43] How would I measure my best life and whether I'm living it? I ask myself, if I were hit by a bus tomorrow, would I have any deep regrets? Other than not looking both ways before crossing the road, of course. Sure, there's no way I could possibly accomplish everything I want. There will always be more countries I want to visit, more books I want to write, more experiences I'd like to have.

[23:06] But was I living in integrity? Am I living in integrity? That's the bigger question. A few years ago, I would have sadly said no. I was living a married white picket fence life going through the motions of what society told me I was supposed to want. I was well respected in my prestigious career path as a deputy district attorney.

[23:28] Today, I live alone in my cozy studio, around the corner from my life partner who I've been in an ethically non monogamous relationship with for nearly five years. I make my living talking about sex and relationships, which is a heck of a lot less prestigious than what I used to do. I'm my own boss, which sounds cool and all, but lacks the financial comfort and security of a steady government job.

[23:51] To some, this life might sound incredibly unsafe and unstable, but it's the way I choose to live and love. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. It may not be your best life, but it's definitely mine. Rena is just one more example of flipping the script you think you're supposed to live and creating a life that's right for you.

[24:13] And if at first you try something that didn't work out, there's no shame in trying again or trying something different. Decisions are not life sentences. And that's just another mini lesson from Benchmarks or Bullshit.

[24:26] Talking about shame is really heavy, so let's combat that heaviness by picking up a thread from Rena's response and talk about love.

[24:34] Rebelling against toxic cultural norms is one of my favorite things to do. And loving yourself is a massive act of rebellion in this world that is really set up to make you hate yourself. For example, the patriarchy has allowed us to believe that the most normal things that everyone has, like cellulite, or pimples, or gray hair, are shameful and need to be fixed.

[24:57] But what if we didn't hate ourselves for what we saw in the mirror? What if we loved ourselves instead? Because love begins in the mirror, and that's also a lesson from the book. If you need more ammunition against what the patriarchy is selling, let's revisit our very recent guest, Doctora Mildred Ortiz.

[25:13] She's a psychologist from the episode about finding and breaking up with your therapist, number 48. Therapy is also one of those services that can be laden with shame, especially in Latinidad. So, if you've been looking for some therapeutic advice, check out that episode. In response to how she's living her Vida Más Chévere, here's what the good doctor had to say.

[25:32] Mi Vida Más Chévere is a constantly evolving state of mind and experience that I believe go hand in hand. In my twenties, it was being a student of my trade and using my educational experience to travel, live in different major cities, meet new people, and work odd jobs that continue to serve me today.

[25:49] In my 30s, La Vida Más Chévere was about setting roots in my field of study. I worked towards building a community with my peers. I placed more focus on my health and wellness and reached amazing fitness goals. I learned so much about my strengths, my determination, and drive that extend far beyond the mental and physical capacities.

[26:09] I matured in ways that allowed me to stand on my own two feet, unwilling to sacrifice my standards, values, and ethics. Eventually, this led to being my own jefa. Now in my early 40s, familia and companionship are my focus. I'm still la jefa at the office, while I enjoy mi vida being hija, hermana, tia, and best of all, esposa.

[26:30] Mi vida más chévere now consists of comunidad entre mi familia. Like any family, there are hills and valleys, but as I see mis viejitos getting older, their wrinkles a little deeper, and telling their stories of their childhood, I notice myself soaking it all in with intention to preserve these moments. I find myself doing the same with my niece.

[26:52] She's six now, going on eighteen it seems. Es una chispa, as we say, so charismatic, endearing, gentle, and full of life. I hope she never loses that. Watching her growing up is amazing to witness, all while seeing mis viejitos, well, grow in age. Love, romantic love, has always been my greatest experience. I never get tired of thinking how much we can love healthy love, that's a topic for another day, love someone that is not part of our immediate family.

[27:24] Loving mi esposo is effortless. We've been together for what seems forever, but really, nearly ten years. We continue to pour love into each other like a new romance. Like all relationships, we have our moments, but open communication, respect, and that mutual willingness to work through those tough moments always prevails.

[27:44] La Vida Más Chévere is about amor, love. I don't want to sound like the Beatles song, but really, amor in my experiences, amor in my work, amor in what I do and how I show up for myself and others, amor in my relationships, and most importantly, enamorada de mi misma. Doctora Ortiz's best life is about love.

[28:06] Love! Love for the person you are today and love for the person you'll become next. The future version of you deserves your love too.

[28:15] I have two more examples of people talking about their best lives. First, let's recap the six themes and then I'll play the responses for you. The six themes that will continue to arm my rebellion against the toxic cultural bullshit we all grew up with are.

[28:32] 1. Celebrate your wins. 2. Failure is good and expected. 3. Storytelling is our connection, but make sure those stories you tell about yourself are true. 4. When you hit a low point in your marathon, it's time to ask for help. Number 5, there is no shame in needing and asking for that help. And 6, love begins in the mirror.

[28:57] I should have mentioned earlier that my husband is the one that originally came up with that last one. When I was writing Benchmarks are Bullshit, which was originally just meant to be lessons for my niece who was going off to college, I was telling him about how I wanted to include something about falling in love.

[29:13] And he said, tell her that love begins in the mirror. See that right there is an example of community and support. While I wrote that book alone, while I produced this podcast alone, there's always a support system surrounding me and inspiring me to create my best content. So thanks, babe, for always being in my corner. I love you.

[29:34] And now let's hear from the other two guests. While some responses were sent as emails, a few guests opted to record their answers. Here's guest Jamie Feinberg from the first episode in the Child Free Wedding Series talking about her best life.

[29:48] Jamie: Hi, I'm Jamie Feinberg of Ross and Jamie Adventure. I'm a coach, mental fitness trainer, and mentor to child free women. How am I living my best life? I am living my best life by creating a life I love and supporting other child free women in doing the same. I pursue my artistic passions, spend time with the people I care about most, explore new places, and eat lots of ice cream.

[30:14] I prioritize my mental and physical health, especially important as I live with several autoimmune conditions. I've created a beautiful morning routine that supports me and is one of my favorite things to do daily. I'm entering my third year living on Prince Edward Island in Canada. My husband and I moved here after touring the United States full time in an RV for five years, so he could realize his dream of being a touring musician and we could figure out where we wanted to live.

[30:39] Part of living my best life for me means being a part of a community, and the community we've found and built here is such an essential piece of the puzzle for us. I prioritize buying local as much as possible, shopping at farmers markets, local businesses and second hand where I can, and I use my skills and gifts to support others and bring joy and culture to our home.

[31:01] Currently, directing a barbershop chorus and singing in a choral group, as well as playing piano for shows and concerts, and singing in smaller ensembles. And finally, living my best life means advocating for the causes that I care about. I use my privilege where I can, speaking up and using my power to make a difference, and I educate myself and others when and where it's appropriate for me to do so.

[31:25] Paulette: And now I'm gonna end with this note from my podcast buddy and guest Fede Vargas. On Fede's episode, we talked about living your best life and your most authentic life and whether there's a real difference between the two. Here's what he had to say.

[31:41] Fede: Paulette, congratulations on your 50th episode. What an achievement.

[31:46] This is your friend, Fede Vargas, and I'd like to thank you for putting this beautiful podcast out into the world. And how am I living la vida más chévere? Well, for the first time ever, I'm living my life in alignment and over at my own podcast named My Most Authentic Life, I'm doing just that, living my life in alignment.

[32:07] For me, living authentically means living in alignment and you guessed it, that alignment allows me to thrive and to live my best life. So let's revisit the question we spoke about when I was a guest on your podcast. It's a game changer. And it's a game of would you rather. Would you rather live a comfortable lie, or an uncomfortable truth?

[32:32] Think about that. There's no greater gift than to give yourself permission to burn all the shoulds. And to finally give yourself permission to live as you are. It's beautiful. Keep up the good work, my friend. I'll be listening.

[32:47] Paulette: So what's next? Well, since The Patriarchy still exists and we're still bumping into toxic cultural norms on a daily basis, clearly my work isn't done. So you can continue to expect more dismantling and rebelling on this here show, La Vida Más Chévere.

[33:04] Another gem, bit of wisdom that Ami Tucker shared with me is that the first 50 episodes of a podcast are about finding your voice. The next 50 are about perfecting the craft, which is where you come in, mi gente. Yes, you. The person listening to this right now, your name might be Rosalba, or Linda, or Jessenia, or Kyle, or Debbie, or maybe I don't even know your name.

[33:29] Regardless, I want you all to chime in with what you want to hear more of. After 50 episodes, I have an idea of what I'm doing now. I'm looking forward to more collaborations with child free people, especially child free Latines. People living their best lives in ways that could be very different from mine so that you continue to have a rich variety of examples to look to for what your life could look like if you wanted it to.

[33:53] But I also want you to feel confident using your voice and telling me what matters to you. Be a vocal part of my circle. Leave your mark in my community. Links to contact me are in the show notes. Please, do not be shy.

[34:08] And, finally, thank you. Muchísimas gracias, dear listener, for being here for the first fifty episodes, no matter when you dropped in along the way. Whether you've listened to all 50 or this is your first one, I hope you've come away with something valuable you can use in your own life. So that you too can live your vida más chévere. Here's to the next 50. And that's a burrito.

[34:33] Do you got something to say about this week's episode? DM me on Instagram at Paulette Erato. And if you'd like to be a guest on La Vida Más Chévere, check out the guest form on my website at pauletteerato. com. All of these links are in the show notes.[34:46] While you're at it, can I ask you a favor? I'd really appreciate your helping spread awareness about the podcast. So could you please share it on your socials or even send it to a friend? New episodes come out every other Tuesday. You can enjoy them with tacos or burritos. Muchísimas gracias for your support y hasta la próxima vez. Cuídate bien.

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